There has been some concern as of late regarding the health of SID vocalist Mao. Recently, Mao detailed his struggles in his blog, which has given a surprising amount of insight about the tribulations that have surrounded Mao and his band mates for the past two years. Please read the aforementioned post, translated by S-T’s own Shannon, and share your thoughts!
To my important fans.
I have something important to say, so I’m writing this blog.
It gets a little long, but please read until the end.
I’ve been working for these past two years over whether or not to say this.
It all started exactly two years ago.
I started having dizzy spells. I thought it was just because I was somehow tired.
It started becoming so incessant that I went to a hospital.
I was diagnosed with Meniere’s disease.
Me…? I thought. I was really shocked at first.
At the time, we had just released our best of album and were preparing for our important Yokohama Stadium show.
I don’t want to sully the name of SID during our 10th anniversary!
I don’t want to burden the members, staff, or fans!
I bit down on those feelings and focused on recovering while trying to get through our current schedule. That was how I spent my days.
That was around the time I started exercise and training—which I hate—on my doctor’s recommendation.
Then, in summer, I felt a lot more at ease.
We were facing SID’s outdoor tour, though.
This was where I faced my second ordeal.
It was on the night before our second performance of the tour at the Imperial Palace.
I caught gastroenteritis and didn’t get a wink of sleep. It was a painful night…then it was over.
I’d been on an IV since the morning, but it wasn’t helping.
I had a fever over 40 degrees.
Even so, the show waits for no one.
From the first song to the last, everything coupled with the heat outside made things hazy. It was a show I got through with sheer willpower.
I depended entirely on the cheering of fans from far away.
Then, the outdoor tour semifinal.
It was the first day of our Fujikyuu shows.
The burden of all the things that went wrong until then messed up my throat in the worst way.
I really felt like, “I really can’t do it today…huh?” since rehearsal that day. It was really scary.
It was so painful that I thought I’d give up, but
It was the voices of fans that saved me again.
We sang together and supported each other. It was really heartening.
I sang somehow or another, that day.
On the day of the tour final, as if by some miracle, my throat felt better.
We finished the tour as planned.
Even when we got back to Tokyo, though, it still felt like something was wrong with my throat. I went to the hospital right away.
The compensation for trying so hard to keep singing in the end was…
My third ordeal.
I was diagnosed with vocal cord polyps.
Why do these things keep happening to me? I thought. I was so bitter that I started laughing.
I thought over and over until it was too much
Even so, can I get over this?
Those were trying times.
Having the strength to not give up
Is a trial in itself, but
I mustered up my strength.
Even now it seems like it’ll go wrong.
This was around the time when our single “ANNIVERSARY” was released.
It was also around the time I gave up my beloved habit of smoking.
This was the biggest wall.
The recording for our album “OUTSIDER” was approaching.
If my polyps were removed, I wouldn’t be able to sing for 3 months at the least.
I worried and worried.
Then I decided.
While bearing the burden of these bombs in my throat, I was able to move around days for vocal recording on days when it seemed like it was impossible.
It was the first time I’d taken a break from recording. I hate losing when it comes to singing.
But somehow, with the support of a lot of people, I finished recording smoothly.
Thanks to them, we were able to make a great album. My throat held out until the end.
Since I’ve kept it secret, you’ll probably be surprised.
Surgery on my polyps began in 2014.
There were only 3 months until our long tour started in April.
I had to make a complete recovery by then, no matter what.
I could only communicate through writing for the first 3 days after my surgery. Seeing all of your casual messages on Twitter make me happy.
Thanks to my doctor, my voice training coach, and the support of everyone, I was on my way to full post-op recovery in no time.
The countrywide tour began.
It was a long tour, but I had almost no problems with my throat. Singing became easier and easier by the day.
We came to the tour final without a hitch.
Right after that was the two-man live with MUCC, I think.
I felt like there was something wrong with my singing voice again.
I think I was traumatized from before and got really scared.
I went to the hospital.
This time, it seemed like all I needed to do repeatedly enunciate more clearly and I’d be fine.
The light flowed in.
It’s a condition of a temporary illness that are triggered by something so minor, it has no name.
There are lots of artists that had the same symptoms that are singing just fine now.
The doctor seemed like a god to me.
There’s nothing wrong with my vocal cords! On the contrary, they were even better than before. I can sing in higher keys, haha.
Above all, I’ve been seeing a doctor who’s somewhat of a specialist in the condition and I’m getting better by the day.
But there were still a lot of people who were worried about me when last year’s lives seemed a bit scattered and I was unwell.
The reason I’m writing this blog is because there was so much concern.
Also, I came to realize that the past ordeals I’d hidden as the “weak Mao” allowed me to find the “strong Mao” for the first time.
I want to continue walking together with my beloved SID and SID fans.
That’s why I wrote this.
I’m really sorry for worrying you.
Oh, and I’ve fully recovered from my Meniere’s disease. Don’t worry.
It’s been a long two years.
I was finally able to write this blog after enduring and overcoming so much.
It was really scary, but now I’m really happy.
I’m okay now!
Thank you for helping me find a way out of my darkness together.
Now we just need to crawl back up!!
Please continue giving us your support!!
It’s gotten colder lately, so be careful not to catch a cold.
You’ll see a new me when you see me next.
Let’s be at our best when we meet again!